Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Courageous leaders have THOSE conversations

Courageous leaders develop the confidence, the conviction and then the courage to have THOSE conversations - you know the conversation where you tell the person how you are really feeling and what you really expected.

I had exactly this experience with someone just the other day - where I spent a significant amount of time drafting an e-mail where I needed to talk about a very diffcult topic with this person. It would have been so much easier to have just let the issue slide and hope the "right thing" would be done - and I found myself thinking and being prompted by my wonderful business partner - that the conversation needed to be had to ensure the "right thing" was done by everyone.

This experience has created wonderful learning for me and I believe will also lead to wonderful learning for the "someone" I was referring to! Firstly it took great courage to draft the original e-mail and I was surprised at how long it took me to jiggle and juggle until I felt I got the e-mail "just right". Now, remember I am the one who espouses that we need more Courageous Leaders! Then what shocked me more was the terse and short response I received from such a heartfelt message that had taken me so long to draft!

So here comes the second learning - do I "put up" with that response or do I truly engage in one of THOSE conversations........you guessed it - once Pandora's Box is open we need to engage in the deeper conversation. So the next e-mail imparted my feelings and that we needed to engage in a deeper conversation when we met face to face in a few days. I explained that I had expected a more "human" response as it had been a hard e-mail for me to send in the first place...........would I have sent such an e-mail a few months ago - absolutely NOT. But as I keep saying to people I am putting myself out there more and more about being a Courageous Leader - I speak about, it is integrated into our Leadership Development Programs and I have written about it in an 80,000 word book - so now the Universe is testing me........so I wrote the next e-mail!!!!

And I have an Emerging Leader whom I am mentoring who has recently done the same thing - she went and had a conversation with her existing leader that a few weeks she would never have dreamed of having - and found the experience liberating and encouraging!

Courageous leaders do it - they have THOSE conversations and it means everyone reaps the benefits! I would love to hear about YOUR experiences in having those conversations.......please tell me more!

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